Yeah yeah, I'm really bored and have begun to develop a base dislike for my books now. Who wouldn't, if you were forced to stare at the same books for 13-14 hours a day for a period of now almost 6 months.The previous post is not actually a fresh, new post. Its quite an old post from my personal blog hosted on my computer.. which serves like an idea-book plus notes collections. The tag about this theme being dark and broody made me express my feelings about being trapped and forced to give exams and still keep the motivation up, as these exams decide where I study and what I study for the next few years, and possibly my career too. But it gets hard after a while, trying to motivate yourself to just sit on the damn chair and study for 3 hours at a stretch without walking out in boredom.. motivating myself with just the thoughts of more study. Ironical isn't it?
Trouble is the steam runs out, the drive and passion to excel and do better than others runs out, and once that happens, God save me. Presently, I think my steam's running out.. and I've got three more weeks to go. So what if my dear relatives and friends say those stupid words that even they know are untrue: "Don't worry, take it easy and everything will be fine, you'll get admission anywhere". Take it easy, that's very easy to do, but will be the end of everything. Relax? If you mean be calm and study in a planned fashion, that's what I've been doing for the past 6 months, and I fail to see how one can get worked up at that fact. The problem is boredom, not tension. I can do well in whichever field I study. Boredom leads me to wander around the house and waste my time doing things like playing the guitar and not studying. That makes me feel guilty and leads to the feeling of being a soft jelly. Occasionally I get really charged up somehow and I put in study like from 9 am in the morning, through the day, and till 2 am the next day. I just feel my adrenaline rushing when I do that. But then again I collapse into the jelly-like state and get bored again. This is what leads to this black and dark state of mine, hence the dark and broody theme of this blog. Quite a lot of explanation for a simple color isn't it? ;-)
(Image by Aron Bothman)
3 comments:
You have always fascinated me Shashank. Taking care of Dynamix, studies and almost everything at the same time and that too with a style, is what I like the most about you.
Now, be kind of generous to me and explain, how you are able to do that?
There really is nothing to it, and I therefore refuse to explain what does not exist..
I think that's a rather strange question.
However strange it may be, explain me the secret of your success.
Regards
(Siddharth Razdan)
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